Discipline Isn’t Willpower—It’s a Learnable Skill
You’ve heard it before: Discipline over motivation. It’s the battle cry of the fitness industry, self-help books, and productivity gurus everywhere. And they’re not wrong—motivation is fleeting, while discipline keeps you going when motivation runs dry.
But here’s where they fall short. They throw the word ‘discipline’ around as if it’s something you either have or you don’t. As if it’s some inherent personality trait or a mystical force you’re just supposed to summon at will. And when you struggle to ‘be disciplined,’ you’re left feeling like a failure, like there’s something wrong with you for not having enough willpower.
That’s the problem. Discipline isn’t willpower—it’s a collection of learnable skills. Skills you can develop, strengthen, and apply in a way that actually works for you.
Two of the most important skills that build real, lasting discipline?
Somatic Awareness – Understanding your body's signals instead of ignoring them.
Cognitive Flexibility – Shifting perspective when things don’t go as planned.
These two are especially important for women, who tend to fall into the all-or-nothing trap, push through exhaustion, and ignore their own needs in the name of being everything to everyone. Through this, we are more prone to burnout. Learning these skills doesn’t just make discipline easier—it makes it sustainable.
Somatic Awareness: Knowing When to Listen to Your Body vs. When Your Chimp Brain Is Making Excuses
What it is:
Somatic awareness is your ability to notice, interpret, and respond to your body’s signals. It’s not just about feeling tired, hungry, or stressed—it’s about recognising what those sensations mean and what they’re asking of you.
I wanted to write this piece after chatting with one of my amazing clients, who recently realised she hears little to nothing from her body—until it’s a huge, overwhelming feeling that sends her straight into old behaviours she no longer wants to engage with. And that’s exactly what we’re working on: noticing.
Because here’s the truth—if you’re only aware of your body’s needs when it’s screaming at you, you’ll always feel reactive, always feel like you’re ‘failing’ at discipline, and always default to coping strategies that no longer serve you. The key? Pause. Notice. Then act accordingly.
But—and this is key—sometimes what feels like ‘listening to your body’ is actually your chimp brain talking.
Your chimp brain (the emotional, survival-driven part of your brain) craves comfort at all costs. It wants to avoid effort, discomfort, or anything that feels hard. This is why old habits—especially ones that bring immediate relief—are so tempting when you’re tired, stressed, or uncertain.
How to tell the difference:
✔ Real body signals feel neutral. You’re tired, you feel a dip in energy, you notice sluggishness—these are observations, not dramatic excuses.
✔ Your chimp brain is emotional and dramatic. “I can’t be bothered,” “I’ll start tomorrow,” “It’s pointless if I don’t do it perfectly.”
✔ Old habits feel automatic. If you’re about to do exactly what you’ve always done in these moments—whether that’s skipping a workout, stress-eating, or saying ‘fuck it’—that’s likely your chimp brain.
The goal isn’t to push through exhaustion or to give in to excuses. The goal is to build self-trust—to know when your body actually needs rest and when you’re just defaulting to avoidance.
“Act regardless of how you FEEL to GET the feeling you WANT.”
That doesn’t mean pushing yourself to burnout. It means doing something, in alignment with what your body truly needs.
If you’re unsure whether it’s your chimp brain talking or your real body signals, start your planned task for just 1-5 minutes. After each minute, check in: How do I feel?
Because motivation doesn’t show up before action—it follows it.
One of my clients mentioned a friend who was moaning about feeling exhausted and low energy, and it sparked this exact conversation: What are you doing to feel energised? Energy isn’t a mythical being that decides to bless you—it’s something you make happen, no matter how you feel.
That doesn’t mean forcing yourself through exhaustion. It means recognising the difference between real body needs and your chimp’s comfort-seeking behaviour. It means scaling back if needed—but never choosing nothing.
How to develop somatic awareness:
Pause before reacting. Instead of pushing through or shutting down, take a few seconds to check in with how you actually feel.
Track patterns. If you constantly feel exhausted, hungry, or restless at certain times, don’t chalk it up to ‘lack of discipline’—it’s data. Adjust accordingly.
Use the ‘halfway check-in.’ During a workout, a meal, or any habit, pause halfway and ask: Do I need to adjust? This helps you learn your body’s real cues.
Always do something. The clearest sign that your chimp brain is in control? You do nothing. You repeat an old habit exactly as you always have. Instead, scale it back: do a shorter workout, choose a different movement, make a smaller step. That’s you listening to your body and staying disciplined.
The more you practice tuning into your body, the easier it becomes to work with it rather than constantly fighting it. And to do that, you need the next skill—cognitive flexibility.
Cognitive Flexibility: Breaking Free from All-or-Nothing Thinking
What it is:
Cognitive flexibility is your ability to shift your thinking when circumstances change. It’s the difference between:
"I didn’t do my full workout, so the day is ruined" vs. "I got some movement in, and that still counts."
"I had a bad meal, so I may as well binge" vs. "One meal doesn’t define my whole day."
"I didn’t wake up early like I planned, so I failed" vs. "How can I still make today work for me?"
It’s about adapting rather than shutting down. And for women, who are often conditioned to be all-or-nothing thinkers and perfectionists, this is one of the biggest game-changers in building discipline.
How it helps discipline:
✔ You stop self-sabotaging. Instead of abandoning your progress at the first misstep, you learn to pivot.
✔ You create consistency without rigidity. Life isn’t predictable, and flexibility lets you stay on track even when things don’t go to plan.
✔ You reduce emotional resistance. Instead of feeling guilt or shame over setbacks, you shift into problem-solving mode.
How to develop cognitive flexibility:
Use ‘What’s the next best step?’ thinking. When things don’t go as planned, pause and ask: What’s one thing I can still do to support myself?
Challenge your absolutes. When you catch yourself thinking in extremes ("I always fail," "This is pointless"), reframe it: Is this 100% true? What’s another way to see this?
Practice ‘good enough’ wins. Instead of needing things to be perfect to count, celebrate what did go well—even if it wasn’t exactly as planned.
Cognitive flexibility takes you from feeling like discipline is a battle to feeling like it’s a skill you can apply no matter what life throws at you.
Discipline Is a Skill—Not a Personality Trait
If you’ve ever felt like you should be more disciplined but can’t seem to ‘just do it,’ the problem isn’t you. It’s the outdated idea that discipline is about willpower alone.
When you build somatic awareness, you stop ignoring your body and start working with it.
When you build cognitive flexibility, you stop shutting down at setbacks and start adapting.
Discipline isn’t about forcing yourself through misery. It’s about developing the skills that make showing up for yourself easier, more natural, and more sustainable.
And the best part? It’s learnable.
I have JUST ONE coaching spaces in the Tribe starting March. If you’re interested in securing a place, apply below.
